Care Across America

Incredicare's Approach: Building Relationships That Empower Seniors to Stay Independent

Approved Senior Network® Season 1

Guy Pelullo from Incredicare shares how professional caregivers help seniors maintain their independence while ensuring their safety in their own homes. Balancing dignity with protection requires skill, patience, and a deep understanding of the emotional challenges seniors face when accepting help.

• Most seniors initially resist home care even when children recognize the need
• Starting with fewer care hours and gradually building up comfort levels works better than pushing for full-time care immediately
• Finding creative solutions like accompanying a senior walking their dog rather than prohibiting the activity
• Gentle reminders about using mobility aids like walkers without making seniors feel helpless
• Well-trained caregivers stay attentive without being invasive
• Personality matching between caregivers and clients is crucial for relationship building
• Transportation services help seniors maintain community connections after they stop driving
• Physical activities like pool walking can help slow disease progression while maintaining independence
• Most seniors who initially resist care end up not only accepting it but requesting additional hours


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Speaker 2:

Hi, this is Valerie Van Boeven and we're back with Care Across America. And today we're going to talk to Guy Palullo, and he's the owner of Incredicare and serves all of Northern Virginia. And today we're going to talk about Independence Month. Obviously, 4th of July was this month, so we're going to talk about seniors and independence and how home care helps keep those stubborn seniors independent. So, guy, you've been doing this a long time and we have interviewed you before and we know all about your history. But tell us, when a family calls and they want to talk about their loved one, or maybe a spouse of a loved one calls, how do you guys go about making?

Speaker 1:

sure that senior stays independent in their own home but also feels like they're staying independent with someone else coming into the house. And it starts with that first discussion because inevitably many of the parents that it's the children who generally call. They do not. The parents do not want any help, the parents do not want any help. And yet what we've seen a lot of is people who have mobility issues and it's not an every minute of the day kind of issue and that, I think, gives most seniors a false sense of security that I'm independent, I can walk down the hall, I can do this, so why would I ever need anybody in here? And, god forbid, we have to wait until there's an incident right.

Speaker 1:

So for us it starts with the first visit, even the first phone call, where we understand the dynamic that the parent is resistant. And then when we go out and do our living room visit to discuss a potential plan of care, and we have just a Cracker Jack person who does it, fahima, and she spends a lot of time with the client telling them some of the hazards and what could happen and why they need it. And then, once we can get over that hump and we will ease people into it. The child says we need five days a week, eight hours a day. We'll go to something significantly less and say let's work with mom and get the right person in and build up her comfort level of having somebody help her. So and I think that's important because most home care agencies we all have a tendency to, how do we get the most hours?

Speaker 1:

But most clients become progressive. It's just the nature of a, what they say a father time is undefeated, he can't beat it. But to help people work through that so that when they reach a point where they do lose their independence, that they have comfort with the people that are there and how they're helping them, and so that's the kind of the way we ease into it. The next part that's extremely important is, of course, having the right care professional there, but having them understand the routine of the client. I was in fact this morning we were discussing a client who has multiple falls during the day, has Parkinson's disease, but insists on walking the dog. They have a fenced-in backyard, right, but no, they're walking that dog and they use a walker. They have a walker, they refuse to use it. Right, we're working with the strategy of let us take you on a walk with your walker and the dog, and the care pro will walk the dog.

Speaker 2:

Perfect Much better.

Speaker 1:

And yet that's a difficult discussion because the woman, she, by God, she's walking that dog right, and so it's understanding the activities that are important to them and not taking away. It's not put the dog out in the backyard and no, that's not the intent here because they need to be out walking. Obviously they're attached to the dog. Why would you take that away? It's finding the solution and over time I'm sure she'll become comfortable with it. She has multiple falls a day, it's not? She's in a pretty advanced stage. So knowing those things. And Another common tendency is most of the folks that have walkers absolutely detest using them, right, that's true.

Speaker 1:

And so one of the things we teach our care pros is, when the person goes walking out of the room without their walker, say something like did you forget something? Say something like did you forget something? Or are we using the walker today to constantly help them develop the habit of what's important Because, as they want to be independent, they're not going to use the tools that seemingly take away their independence?

Speaker 2:

That's true.

Speaker 2:

Most of us will do everything we can to not have a walking aid or be confined to a wheelchair, and that's probably part of the mindset of walking the dog.

Speaker 2:

If I can't walk my own dog, then I am giving in to this disease, I am letting it take, and that's not altogether true. The reality is it becomes a safety issue and we all know that falling the wrong way, one bad fall, can really impact the longevity of someone's life, because a hip replacement or a broken leg is really tough to recover from the older we get. So we want to avoid those falls if we can, and that will just help the person live longer if they can either have help in the home or they are using the aids that they've been shown how to use and I know that comes up. That happens a lot. A lot of folks don't want to or they don't remember, because all our lives since we can remember anyway we've gotten up and walked without the use of anything. So it is hard to remember those things. But having someone there as a gentle reminder is really great, and staying independent means being safe and not having as many or any falls in the home.

Speaker 1:

That's exactly right. I think that that becomes a large part of the communication and the making them comfortable with care. Is that the way you stay in your home is for us to help you? Yes, we have that conversation a lot and it's not. They don't go. Oh yeah, that's Still not easy. Nobody, you know.

Speaker 1:

But then the other key element of that is making sure that the care professionals know how to allow that independence, because you don't want to take it away, right that's. And yet how do you stay close? And it's really about staying close and attentive without being invasive. So Is the care. Can the care pro engage in activities where they either have an eye on the client or with the client, so that they're not prone to climb up on the counter and change light bulbs? We've had some of that. They're fixing the light bulb, or is there a way that we can do that with you? There's different degrees, degrees, and I think important for everyone to understand that the battle to remain independent is. I think it gets really strong the older you get right, because once you give that up that, we know what's next, and so it's important to facilitate it, not take it away.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I totally agree. You're right. It's, I think, the best way and the best. Care pros are probably becoming that annoying sister or that annoying little sister or that is constantly saying don't forget, oh, how about this, let's try this. But that is way better. And I know that relationships develop there too. There too, when a care pro is in the home, a lot, or maybe a set, a couple, a team of care pros are rotating through and they're in that home. They get to know them and they get attached to them. This isn't something that most seniors dread every day. They welcome that. Once they get used to it, they really are looking forward to that visit because they know someone's going to fix them lunch and they know someone's going to maybe take them to the grocery today or whatever. The thing is that they need that. Relationship building is very important and the care pros are the ones that build those relationships.

Speaker 2:

And that comes from good training and I know you guys do a lot of that. So training those care professionals on all these different little nuances so important.

Speaker 1:

And we spend a lot of time with the training is like paramount for us. So, starting with, before they ever go on a case, they've got two full days in here and then every month we have an in-the-office training on a particular topic with our RN, and we then have online trainings that are typically an hour a month. To me it's like really the most important thing and it's interesting. A lot of the skills, if you will, that are typically required in home care whether it's a warrior lift or how to use a wheelchair or things like that you can teach those, but it's teaching the dynamic of how to manage them and that becomes so important to what we try to do. Because we haven't I tell you, we haven't to your point about the connection between the care pro and the client.

Speaker 1:

We've had quite a few who refused to, were refusing with their family to have care. We said, okay, let's just try it. Very few of those have ended up ever stopping. In fact, most of them have added care. There's been the rare that they're having no part of it and that CarePro would show up every day. They wouldn't open the door and then you have to just accommodate. But for the most part, it's the connection. Is the caregiver competent? Are they well-trained? Is it the right personality match? Some folks are quiet and they don't want somebody yammering the whole time they're there. Others need the engagement and want the engagement and want to talk about their history and their rich life. And so getting that right match in there and what we tell people is we can't guarantee that the first person we're going to put in there is the right match. We do everything we can, but what we can guarantee is that we'll fix it right immediately, and when you're dealing with people, that's probably the best you can do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, personalities, you think you might have the right person, but yeah, so you got to try a couple of different personalities.

Speaker 2:

We're all a rainbow of differences and so, yeah, it's wonderful that you guys have enough care pros to choose from that you can easily replace somebody who you know if needed and I'm sure Fahim is pretty good at matching up caregivers and seniors at this point, caregivers and clients, and she knows those caregivers really well and she knows probably which ones go best with which person.

Speaker 2:

But it's great that you have enough staff that's flexible. You can sub in somebody else if needed or whatever comes up. But you're right, it's a relationship building experience and time after time we see the caregivers and the families grow very close and would hate to miss a day without Mary in the house because they really enjoy having her there, whoever that person is, and so, anyway, I think that's a testament. Also, the longevity of your home care agency speaks to that relationship building with your community and with the people in your community. You guys have been around a long time and so that's a place where people know that you've been around, you know the community, you know all the communities that you serve and you're not going anywhere. So to me that is another amazing piece of this is choosing a home care agency that obviously cares about their caregivers, cares about their clients and has longevity locally.

Speaker 1:

As we talk about independence. The way that folks can maintain their independence is Is to have assistance they can depend on.

Speaker 2:

That's true.

Speaker 1:

Without it being invasive, and as I've gone through several cases where I've had to have help in my home and nobody wants it. And yet I'm very particular, you know about it, and it's because I've learned that it's the end user, it's the client that matters and everybody's different, as you said, and so it's not just a cookie cutter kind of approach. It's understanding the needs, understanding the risks and then understanding the personalities as best one can in putting those together into something that keeps the client safe and happy and in fact, independent, because once they move out of the home, that that changes yes, it certainly does, and yeah, and that's the whole goal.

Speaker 2:

here is the whole goal.

Speaker 2:

It's independence month, but the whole goal, all is the whole goal.

Speaker 2:

It's Independence Month, but the whole goal all along, all the time, is to keep people happy and in their own homes as long as humanly possible and with the right help and with the right amount of help, that's certainly very possible for a very long time, maybe for the rest of their lives.

Speaker 2:

It just depends on the person, the disease process or the aging process, how it has affected them. So I think you guys do a great job of keeping people independent and there are so many ways that you do that, not only by keeping their routine, but also I think that if we touched on the driving part, taking away the keys is like that first step of I'm losing my independence because I'm not allowed to drive anymore. I think that going back to that is a huge moment in time for most of us as adults. To say I can't drive anymore is rough, but having a caregiver there who can help them get from point A to point D whenever they need to their hair appointment, maybe their church or grocery shopping or whatever it is those are the things that keep people active and smiling and healthy and out and about in their local community.

Speaker 1:

We recently started with a Parkinson's client who is not only is or they hell-bent on being independent, but the family's hell-bent on them remaining independent. And in this particular case, we take this gentleman to the local gym and he walks in the pool.

Speaker 2:

Nice.

Speaker 1:

An hour a day and it's a constant reminder that, as we get afflicted with these various conditions and we get older, that we can slow it down. We're not stopping it and it's really by being independent and doing whatever we physically can. And everybody the care pros are just in love with this guy because we show up in the morning and he's dressed, ready to go and we're taking him somewhere, whether it's the gym or out to eat or to walk the mall, and that's an important part to walk the mall. And that's an important part. And, as you said earlier, once they become connected in a relationship and they have confidence in each other, they in fact have the opportunity to maintain their independence because they're engaging in more activities.

Speaker 2:

And there's so much that folks can do and I would imagine you've had clients who haven't been able to get out of the house for a while that finally they have somebody they can trust and they're able to get out and do a few things that they just couldn't do before, Even if it's something simple as eating lunch together or going to doctor's appointments or doing a quick grocery shopping trip. Those are the things that they probably haven't done in a while because they couldn't drive or they just physically couldn't manage everything all at once, and now they're able to. And that socialization piece is so important too. So you guys do a wonderful job of keeping folks independent.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, thank you.

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